How to Comfort Yourself During Difficult Times
During difficult times we intuitively crave one thing: Comfort. A feeling of comfort that can never be found in material entities. But how do we create this sentiment of softness and safety for ourselves?
Wanting something outside of us can be a dangerous state of mind. We can trick ourselves with quick fixes like drinking alcohol, excessively exercising or expecting the closest people in our lives to save us. The underlying and rather uncomfortable truth is that the feeling of comfort that we indeed long for only exists within ourselves. Instead of wanting to be fixed or saved by an external source, we have to face the uncomfortable to find true comfort. It requires us to slow down and ask yourselves:
What do I need at this moment?
Allowing ourselves to feel all our emotions during difficulties, even those labelled as "bad emotions", such as anger or fear, allow our nervous system to rest. It's the difference between a state of urgency and the feeling of calmness floating around our bodies. Sometimes it might be taking a long hot bath or walking in nature. Other times we may require help from others. When we open ourselves up to receive and ask for help from a peaceful state of mind, we can ask for what we truly desire. And only then can we clearly state what kind of help we need from another person. The more profound truth is:
We can lean on ourselves AND receive comfort from others.
While it's important not to expect others to save us, we can't ignore that women are conditioned to not ask for help and numb the pain. As a collective, we can only emerge from a global mental health crisis when we accept to feel instead of hiding from our own emotions. While our female ancestors intuitively created groups and gathered around a bonfire, today, as women, we have forgotten about the power of coming altogether. Especially in pain, we tend to show our best face on social media.
It's okay to feel it all.
The Georgie Collective is a growing community offering a safe space to feel it all and create gentleness within ourselves. Attending talks in person or online and meeting people from various ways of life can help us to acknowledge that we are not alone. And that we can go through difficult times. "When we are able to sit with one another and hold the space, we can create long-lasting change", says the founder of Georgie Collective, Matilda Coy.
There is power in the community.
